Create a mission statement. Your inheritance and legacy plans should be guided by your family’s core values. Developing a family "mission statement" can help heirs understand what is fundamental to your family’s success and well-being, and how you want your legacy and inheritance to be shepherded for future generations.

Decide how and when assets of financial value should be divided. Many families choose to divide assets evenly among heirs, and this is often a good solution to avoid feelings of unfairness. But every family has unique circumstances. Some parents may want to allocate more to a child who has greater financial need or who has acted as a caregiver to a parent. Increasingly parents are sharing part of their inheritance while they are still alive, to benefit adult children when they need it most. Blended families can create other complications. Talking through your options with an advisor can help you find a solution that addresses your specific family dynamics. Good communication is very important and can help everyone understand the choices you make.

Decide how assets of emotional value should be divided.Often the most contentious aspects of inheritance can be the distribution of possessions of emotional value, such as grandma’s engagement ring or the family art collection. Talk with your children and heirs about what they value most. This conversation can lead to productive and meaningful conversations about family memories and values. Some families find it helpful to list out valuable items and then let each child or heir choose a possession in turn, in order to give everyone a fair chance to select what matters most to them.

Hold a family meeting. You may want to draft and distribute a summary of your will or estate plan, then have a meeting to review with your heirs. Be ready to explain your overall goals for your legacy, and address concerns in the context of your mission statement, goals, and values. It can be helpful to have your financial advisor participate to help explain financial goals and moderate parts of the conversation.

Keep some topics confidential. You may decide that certain topics are better not to share with heirs (or some of your heirs) at this time.

Keep the conversation going. Sharing your inheritance and legacy is an ongoing process. An annual conversation, perhaps scheduled around family holidays, can help ensure everyone understands and is on board with family needs and goals. Including grandchildren in the conversation can help develop a healthy ongoing tradition of legacy discussions.